The Reunion

Parental Karma lasting more than two decades ... yikes

Waiting 21 years for your son to call is more difficult than it may sound. The sorry hurt I used for a decade or more to erase the pain of our untimely departure from one another ... just wasted alot of time and alcohol, though I am delighted I managed to lose the negativity of my life pretty early on. Or so I thought. I suffered in the negativety dumped on me by my wife's family pretty much the way you suffered through your own mother's negativity. Having lived with your mother for seven years, I was more than mildly familar with her bouts of depression.

When she departed with you and your sister, I basically fell off the face of the earth. I liked being your father. We had a good time, especially Daphne and me because we spent alot of our time together. You were younger and not as affected by the shenanigans of the early 70's. It was one of those things. You just had to have been there to make any sense of it. I was fairly over the top cruising into San Francisco with my young companion's new Chevy Malibu pulling my '73 super beetle behind. I was speeding so high coming through Donner Pass I decided to let Shelley drive when I thought I was going to hit my head on the ceiling of the restaurant we were in.

I can still remember coming into our cool townhouse on 11th Avenue next to Tom's and lighting up then noticing the house was totally silent. Our house was never totally silent. And my little ones were nowhere to be found. Blackness closed in. I hadn't been drinking for sometime... and I walked next door crossing over the driveway to enter the side door at Tom's. I would not be sober again for more than a decade.

To be able to hug you and embrace you was a hugely rewarding moment that is still lasting as I enjoy the healing feeling of my heart as I nolonger have to doubt daily, who you are, how you are, how did everything turn out for you, I was sorry I let you down because I was still too young and confused to figure out how I was supposed to win the legal battles against a father-in-law who truly hated me and had the money to "clean my clock." It was an impotent feeling of castration. I didn't like it yet proceeded to end up in a family that was excellent at rejecting me on a daily basis, much the way your grand pop and Uncle Dick spent everyday rejecting you.

I can only assure you it is good to get rid of all the negative crap as early as possible and you have done marvelously well by not drinking much earlier than any other Reeves's except for your sister Leah who is officially the winner of the youngest Reeves to "get it." BUT ... those of us who had to get it entirely on our own without parental assistance ... you da mon!